"My 8 Year Old Needs a Bailout"

The data is simply staggering... the need for bailouts just continues...

Recently my wife and I have noticed a few school lunches either left un-eaten or in the trash in the past few days... we had to investigate... Here's what we found from the testimony of "Peggy" the lunch lady.

The culprit is the 8-year old to the right, Easton (without hat). Yes, I know, he looks all cute here but there's more to the story and the numbers don't lie:

• All but four days since the beginning of the year the kids have packed their lunches
• Easton has elected to purchase a lunch 9 of the last 10 school days at a $1.70 a whack
• Since the beginning of the year, he's purchased an amazing 24 lunches compared to the 4 approved
• His current debt on his meal card is now $16.70 and collection calls are coming in
• As parents we don't know if we should simply allow him to file for bankruptcy and suffer the consequences or will that have too large of an impact on the rest of the union of students?
• Do we offer a bailout package to cover the loss, or will these losses keep occuring to the American taxpaying parents?
• I'm not sure if I have confidence Congress knows what will happen next either
• Bankers won't lend to him as he currently does not meet lending standards
• It seems he's more than school "milk"-ing the system
• The math does not add up and if history tells us from social studies, this PE ratio is not good

My 8-year old needs a bailout... anyone got any advice?